- Role Model: a person who you look up to and admire.
- Anti-Role Model: a person who has toxic traits and behaviors that should not be followed.
- Self-Role Model: someone who sets their own standards and chooses their own path.
- As a kid I had parents I knew I never wanted to be. I had a grandfather I admired but he wasn’t one to actually be. He was my hero but not a role model. I had Alex’s’ parents to show how a working home works. Her dad was a prime example of a father. Her stepmom not only stepped up to pay for things but also helped and encouraged her. A house full of love and laughs. I can’t say they were role models but they helped me see what a home was. The love and encouragement I needed during school. I am forever grateful for the high school years I spent at their house. They gave me strength to keep going without even knowing. The laughs at that house kept me afloat when I was secretly drowning but telling no one. I was told repeatedly by many to not to become my mother. Which I knew I never wanted to be anyway. I’ve heard and saw way too much toxic behavior my dad had done. I had siblings that really taught me that misbehaving and the wrong path wasn’t the way nor any different from our parents. I had teachers in school I loved but not a role model. They believed in me, giving me encouragement to try and not just settle. Anti-role models have surrounded my life as bees swarm their enemy. As I became a mother I have had more anti-role models come. I have also had countless connections and bonds formed in the pool of “role models”. When you grow up never having a role model I believe you truly do not completely understand what having a role model is. Self-role model is something I believe trauma survivors become. We obviously never truly think about it till you are asked to. I have always needed positive connections, support, and encouragement. Seeing others succeeding over the years teaches you there is different from what you were taught. That knowledge gives you the mindset of becoming yourself and setting your own path and beliefs. I don’t believe at all I was taught by role models. I was guided by connections of people I hold deeply. The non-toxic traits they showed. The love they’ve made me feel. You learn every person in your life has a lesson to teach you some good some bad. They give you the knowledge of what your standards are and what your limits are. They can hold the power to keep you going years after the bond was made even the ones that never were meant to be permanent. So role models over my 26 years of life are myself. I have known I do not want what I was born into. I have made my own standards and limits by the knowledge of my past. I have had amazing help along the way. I have watched so many people succeed that I know it’s possible. I have my own path granted. I have no idea what I am doing but I have always known I will not settle for what toxic things I have seen in my life. I want to be me because I honestly am still letting myself finally find it. 25 years of masking of letting the behaviors passed down to me fly like the flags fly in the wind. Knowing it’s wrong but never being taught differently. Different is what I guess you could call my role model. Being different from what I was born into and learning from my amazing bonds along the way.
Role models?
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Breaking Toxic One Breath At A Time 
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